


Play It Cool

by Medie



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/F, Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-21
Updated: 2010-02-21
Packaged: 2017-10-07 11:15:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/64604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Medie/pseuds/Medie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scully never thought she'd fall in love, romantically, with a woman, and now, she has, and she may be losing her...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Play It Cool

Play it cool.

The phrase echoes through my mind as I read the chart, again seeing the confirmation of Monica's physical condition, feel the agonizing realization settle onto my chest. Play it cool, Dana, be professional, adopt the persona of 'Dr. Scully'. You have to keep it together, you have to appear calm, John needs you to be the strong one. He needs you to help him through this.

Still, try as I might to keep my emotions under control, I feel my throat begin to close off as I put down the chart and look at Monica's unearthly serene face. I can't do this. I can't lose you too, Monica, I can't. Mulder's gone, he might as well be dead, and if I lose you, I'll have no one left. I can't lose you too.

Play it cool.

Reflexively, I draw in a steadying breath and clench my fists, feeling my nails dig into my palms. The pain threatens to overwhelm me and I look away, swallowing heavily. I need to keep a clear head. If John is right, if there is a chance I can get her back, I need to keep my calm, my focus.

When I started to feel this way about her, I'm not sure, I can't pinpoint the exact moment I started to love her, I just do. Up until I met Monica, I'd never thought I could love another woman in a romantic sense, I never thought I was capable of it, but I do. I love her and I can't bear the thought of losing her.

"Dr. Scully," A nurse walks into the room, a large envelope in her hands. The EEG - Monica's EEG. "You wanted to see this?"

I open my mouth to speak, only to have my voice fail me. Clearing my throat, I try again. "Yes, thank you." Reaching out, I take the envelope. "Is there somewhere I can work?"

The nurse tells me and then leaves.

I look down at the envelope then place it on the bed. Perching myself on the edge of the bed, I lean over to brush a stray lock of hair away from Monica's face. "I need to go examine your EEG and your other tests..." I tell her unnecessarily. "Monica, if you are still alive, and I pray you are, you need to fight. You need to reach out, give me a sign, I'll take anything. Just let me know you're in there," My voice grows husky, dropping to a near whisper, with unshed tears. "Please, Monica," I swallow, "I can't do--I need you."

An aborted laugh rattles through my chest. Play it cool. "You missed dinner. I had the night all planned out. I made dinner, your favorite by the way, and I even ordered dessert." My hand moves along her arm, fingers interlacing with hers. "You would have loved what I planned for the rest of the night - a nice, relaxing, candle-lit bath - I bought a couple new aroma therapy candles. You --" A sob bubbles up in my throat but I force myself to be calm. "You would love the scent, I think. I tried it at the store and it reminded me of you. Warm."

I may have beaten back the sobs but the tears flow unchecked as I bring her clasped hand to my lips, kissing it. My eyes close and I let myself cry for a moment, pressing her hand to my cheek.

Please, Monica, come back to me.

"I'll make a deal with you," I say finally. "If you come back...I'll do what I can to salvage our night. Dinner's a write off but the dessert should be salvaged, I put it in the refrigerator before I left, we can have dessert and the bath."I smile shakily. "After the night you've had, you need some relaxation."

Reluctantly, I let go of her hand and stand. "Please, Mon, come back to me..." Leaning over, I kiss her then pick up the envelope. "I love you. I'll be back in a while," I promise as I leave. "Don't go anywhere."

I don't want to go but I have to. If John is right and we can bring her back, I'm going to do everything in my power to prove it.

Including play it cool.


End file.
